imes of solarization, I was finally able to refine those “Life-Extending Eight Pills” that had the power of bringing the dying back to life. But who had expected that god damned Zu Qianqiu would steal them from me and then blend them in the wine for a drink?” He shed some more tears.

Linghu Chong was astonished. “Do these eight pills of yours taste the same?” he asked.

“Of course not. Some had a stinking odor, some tasted extremely bitter. Some were so spicy that you’d almost feel like a knife had just slit your throat, and some had a strong flavor of pungency, so strong that you’d think you were on fire. If anyone takes the ‘Life-Extending Eight Pills,’ then no matter how bad his internal wounds or external wounds are, for sure he would come back to life,” the man explained.

“Oh, no!” Linghu Chong cried as he struck his thigh with his palm. “That Zu Qianqiu stole your Life-Extending Eight Pills, but he didn’t take them himself. Instead…instead…”

“Instead what?” the man asked.

“Instead, he blended them in the wine and then fooled me into drinking all of them down with the wine. I had no idea that the wine had contained precious medicinal pills. I actually thought he had poison in the wine,” Linghu Chong replied.

“Poison in the wine? Poison my ass!” the man cursed in fury. “Did you really take my Life-Extending Eight Pills?” he asked, his eyes blazing.

“Zu Qianqiu filled eight cups with good wines for me to drink. Some did taste very bitter, and some did have a terrible odor, some surely felt like somebody slit my throat, and some did have a burning sensation. But to be very honest with you, I didn’t see any pills at all,” Linghu Chong explained.

The man shot a nasty glare toward Linghu Chong and his fat face twitched again and again. All of a sudden, he uttered a loud cry as he sprang onto his feet and then charged at Linghu Chong.

Ever since the man put a wicked look on his face, the Peach Valley’s Five Fairies had been watching out for him. So as soon as he sprang off the floor, four out of the five Fairies had reached their hands out in blazing speed and each grabbed hold of one of his four limbs.

“Don’t hurt him!” Linghu Chong shouted out in a hurry.

But the strange thing was that after the four Fairies had grabbed onto his two wrists and two ankles, his four limbs actually retracted toward his torso and he looked even more like a meatball. In great surprise, the four Fairies gave a loud shout and then pulled harder. The more they pulled, the longer the man’s four limbs extended, and soon his upper arms and thighs all extended out from within his body just like when a turtle’s four limbs were extending out from within the shell.

“Don’t hurt him!” Linghu Chong shouted again.

The Peach Valley’s Four Fairies relaxed the pulling a little bit. The man’s four limbs immediately retracted back and he became a meatball, once again.

“This is so interesting! This is so interesting! What kind of Kung Fu is this?” Fruit Fairy shouted out loudly while still lying on the stretcher.

The Peach Valley’s Four Fairies gave it a good pull, and the man’s arms and legs again went a few feet longer. Yue Lingshan and the bunch of female apprentices simply couldn’t help but giggle by the side.

“Hey, don’t you think you look more handsome this way when we stretch your arms, legs, and your body longer?” Root Fairy joked.

“Oh, no!” the man screamed.

“Why?” the Peach Valley’s Four Fairies asked in shock, and naturally their grips relaxed slightly from the distraction.

The man suddenly pulled hard and his limbs slipped out from the four Fairies’ grips. In the echoing of a loud bang, he had cracked open a large hole in the bottom of the boat and escaped into the river. Everyone cried in astonishment, and water instantly gushed out of the hole and into the boat.

“Get the luggage and jump ashore,” Yue Buqun shouted the order.

The hole on the bottom of the boat was about four feet long and four feet wide. Water gushed in very quickly and only moments later, the water in the boat’s cabin had already risen to knee’s high. Fortunately, the boat was next to the bank and everyone made it ashore safely. Watching the boat sink slowly under the water, the boatman didn’t know what to do and only froze there looking dreadfully worried.

“Don’t be troubled. How much is your boat worth? We’ll pay you double that,” Linghu Chong comforted him. In the meantime, he was deeply puzzled, “I have never met Zu Qianqiu before. Why would he steal these precious medicinal pills and then trick me into taking them?” He tried to slightly redirect his inner energy. A warm feeling rose from his lower stomach, but the eight energy streams still roamed about inside him uncontrollably.

Lao Denuo found another boat to hire and directed people to load the luggage onto the boat. Linghu Chong took out a few of the silver ingots, the ones he had received earlier and had no clue as to who they had come from, and then gave them to the boatman who had lost the boat.

Yue Buqun found himself full of unease at what had happened. It seemed that there were simply too many eccentrics around here. None of the people who had visited had been very frank with them, and accidents just kept happening one after another. It would be the best for them to leave this troubled place as soon as possible. But since it was completely dark already, and it would be too risky to sail in the torrential river at night, he had to temporarily hold on to that thought and rested in the boat for the night.

And as regard to the Peach Valley’s Six Fairies, having failed twice to secure their prisoners and letting Zu Qianqiu and the Meatball Man escape one after another, they certainly had a hard time. This was something that had never happened to them before. So being the Peach Valley’s Six Fairies, the six brothers kept blowing their own trumpet and tried hard to prettify themselves from the incidents. After some great efforts and still failing to justify themselves, very unhappily, they drank some wine and finally went to bed themselves.

__________

[1] A big city in Henan Province.

[2] Yue Fei, also named Yue Pengju, was one of the most legendary national heroes in Chinese history. He was the general in the Northern Song dynasty in charge of the Chinese army that defended Northern Song government against the Jin Empire’s invading army.

[3] Jin Wushu was the general in charge of the Jin Empire’s invading army.

[4] Yang Zai-Xing was a general under the command of General Yue Fei. He died a tragic death when he took a wrong path and found himself right in the middle of the enemy’s trap. He was shot dead by the Jin army’s many archers.

[5] Golden Blade Grandpa Yang is a figure from the folklore about the Yang Family Corp. Golden Blade Grandpa Yang was a general for the Northern Song dynasty. His army was surrounded by the Liao Empire’s army. He refused to surrender and committed suicide. He had seven sons, and all seven sons became generals in the Northern Song army and fought the Liao Empire’s invading army.

[6] Yang the Sixth was the sixth son of Golden Blade Grandpa Yang. He became the commander in chief for the Northern Song army. He was also the only heir of Golden Blade Grandpa Yang that lived long enough to have children to carry the Yang Family’s name down the line.

[7] Yang the Seventh was the seventh son of Golden Blade Grandpa Yang. He was the best fighter among the seven sons, but died in a young age.

[8] Yang Zongbao was the son of Yang the Sixth. He was also a general of the Northern Song army.

[9] Yang Wenguang was the son of Yang Zongbao. He fought in the Northern Song army also.

[10] In Chinese, Xing means happy.

[11] Fen-Wine is a famous type of wine that is made in Fenyang, Shan-Xi (first intonation) Province. Even today, Fen-Wine remains one of the best wine brands in China.

[12] The same Shao-Wine Tian Boguang mentioned in Chapter 9.

[13] In Chinese, “Zu Zong” means ancestor.

[14] Zu Di was a real historic figure in the Han Dynasty. When he was still young, he got up at the first crow of a cock every morning to train in sword arts. Later his training paid off and he became a famous general, and the story of the morning training also became famous.

[15] This is quoted from Li Bai’s poem: Written as a Guest. Li Bai is the most famous poet in the Tang Dynasty. If you still remember, his name was mentioned in Chapter 9. The poem described the poet’s deep gratitude toward the host. The entire poem goes like this:

Tulip leaves soaked the wonderful wine of Lanling,

Jade Cups bring about the light of amber.

If only the host can get the guest drunk,

Everywhere becomes hometown

[16] Pipa is an ancient Chinese music instrument.

[17] This is quoted from Wang Han’s poem: Poem of Liangzhou. Wang Han is a famous poet in the Tang Dynasty. This poem describes the feelings of soldiers before going to battles. The entire poem goes like this:

Wonderful Grape Wine filled the Luminous Cups;

I want to drink but the sound of Pipa is already calling me to my horseback.

If I get drunk and lie down on the battlefield, laugh me not.

From the many wars, how many soldiers can actually make it back?

[18] This is quoted from Yue Fei’s poem: Red River Poem (where Red River is the name of a poem style). Yue Fei was a legendary general who fought the Huns’ invading army and defended the Song Dynasty. He was not only a great hero, but also a great poet, and Red River Poem is the most well known poem of his. Because of the length of the poem, I will not include the entire poem here.

[19] Xia Dynasty is the first dynasty in Chinese history. King Yu was very famous for his great achievement in flood-control.

[20] Jue is an ancient wine vessel with three legs and a loop handle.

[21] The reason Zu Qianqiu said so is because in the Northern Song Dynasty, China had a strong government and defeated many foreign invasions. During the Southern Song Dynasty, the government’s power declined more and more and China lost many battles with the foreign invaders. Then at the end of the Southern Song Dynasty, the Mongolian army invaded and took over China and founded the Yuan Dynasty. The Han Chinese overthrown the Mongolian ruler at the end of the Yuan Dynasty and started the Ming Dynasty.

[22] Bai Juyi is a famous poet in the Tang Dynasty. This poem illustrated the beautiful spring scenery of the city of Hangzhou. Because of the length of the poem, I will not include the entire poem here.

[23] Legend said that toward the end of the Qin Dynasty, Liu Bang was a Pavilion Officer (the lowest ranking official at the time), and he was ordered to escort laborers to Mount Li. But during the trip, many of the laborers died because of the harsh conditions, so Liu Bang decided to let all the escorted laborers flee for life. Only about ten men decided to stay and follow him. That night, Liu Bang drank too much and became drunk. He sent one man ahead of the group to check the road, and that man returned with a report that a giant snake had blocked the road. In the drunkenness, Liu Bang feared nothing so he ran forward and slain the giant white snake to clear the way. Later he fell asleep a little further down the road. An old woman began crying at where he slain the snake. People asked her why she cried, and the old woman answered that someone had killed her son. People then asked her how her son was killed. She answered that her son was the son of the White Heaven and had transformed into the white snake, and was killed by the son of the Red Heaven. Later Liu Bang heard the story and his confidence was boosted dramatically, that was when he decided to start a rebellion army to overthrow the current emperor. (Emperors call themselves sons of the Heaven to establish the divine status.)

[24] Hongman is in Shanxi province. In 206 B.C., Liu Bang declared himself the Lord of Hanzhong. Xiang Yu, Liu Bang’s main rivalry, led his army and came to Hongman, ready to eliminate Liu Bang’s army. His advisor Fan Zeng suggested Xiang to set up a banquet and invite Liu Bang so they could assassinate him at the banquet. At the time, Liu Bang’s army was no match for Xiang Yu’s army, so he had to come to the banquet to apologize to Xiang. Only Liu Bang and his advisor, Zhang Liang, were allowed into the banquet. During the banquet, Xiang’s advisor Fan Zeng ordered Xiang Zhuang, Xiang Yu’s general, to perform a sword dance to entertain the guests and then assassinate Liu in the sword dance when he had a chance. Liu Bang’s advisor Zhang Liang immediately walked out of the tent and informed Liu’s general, Fan Kuai, who in turn, immediately ran into the tent and interrupted the banquet. Xiang Yu offered Fan some meat, which Fan ate using his shield as the plate. Xiang Yu then offered Fan some wine, which Fan drank using a big ladler. Xiang Yu liked the heroic spirit shown by Fan and called off Xiang Zhuang, the assassin. Later Liu Bang pretended to use the restroom and fled. By risking his own life, Fan Kuai saved Liu Bang’s life. Liu Bang eventually destroyed Xiang Yu’s army and then founded Han Dynasty.